Often I receive a call from a parent who has a child in special education wh
o says: “I don’t want to be THAT Mom”. What is THAT mom?
It’s the Mom that is demanding on every detail in their child’s education. She needs to know what is happening every minute of every day and wants it documented in writing. She doesn’t give the team any room to be creative because she knows what works and what doesn’t. She is the bully. She scares the team and often never receives the full truth because the team is fearful of her reaction. Emails and phone calls are carefully crafted when communicating with THAT Mom because slipping up would mean big trouble.
The fear of being “THAT” mom stops many from being “THE Mom”. Who is THE mom?
It’s THE Mom that is involved in her child’s education. The mom that can praise when a good job is done and offer constructive help when needed. The mom that trusts the team, but doesn’t live in denial of what needs to be done to assure her child is educated. Most of all THE Mom is an equal part of the IEP team and lets everyone know where her role is without telling other people how to do their job. The Mom can be frustrating to the team sometimes because she asks a lot of questions, but her demeanor is so great that you almost can’t get mad at her because you can tell her efforts are out of love. THE mom is not a wimp, but a team player. THE Mom is not a bully, yet can take charge when needed.
Don’t let the fear of being That Mom take away from your ability to be The Mom!
Which Mom are you right now? THAT Mom or THE Mom?
HINT: No matter where you are now, you can take action to move towards being the type of advocate you want to be for your child.
P.S. Sorry Dad’s…there are more Moms than Dads in our audience, but you too can figure out if your THAT Dad or THE Dad! If you are not THAT Dad or THE Dad, but let Mom take care of the family job on the IEP team…it may be time to create your role.
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Upcoming Opportunities for You to Receive Special Education Help:
Feb 16th: Naperville Dist 204 Meeting 7p.m.
Feb 17th: Naperville Dist 203 Meeting 12p.m.
Feb 20th: Rockford Easter Seals Workshop 9a.m.-12:30p.m.
March 16th: Plainfield Dist 202 Meeting 7p.m.
Need more information on any of these events? Just ask!
Do you need 1:1 help with your IEP? Call to find out our options for services.
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You know I had to be THAT mom, in order to be THE mom. Some school districts are so dysfunctional that you don’t have a choice. Honestly getting an attorney was the best choice for us because my attorney gets to be THAT mom…and I get to be THE mom, which is who I wanted to be anyway.